A Goodbye to John

Dear John,

I wish I could tell you that writing this “dear John” letter is the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life, but that would not be true. Actually, it delights me. It gives me a chance to shower you with all the pent up emotion your words and actions have created within me.

John… why did you do it?

Didn’t a common sense thought or two ever give you pause… even a little pause?

It seems as though you get all full of yourself, puff out that chest and think you are the most wondrous thing that ever grabbed a couple of slices of bread for that baloney you let slide from those moving lips.

Do you know you lie? Everyone else does. “Does” as in knowing you do.

I remember when it was me being the fool. Me standing up to people saying you were this hero-in-waiting. Oh my. Did I really believe and say all those positive things about you? I truly wish someone could tell me I really didn’t, but there is no one that can.

I was fooled.

Yes, I was fooled or you truly changed between then and now. It doesn’t matter though. Today is what matters. How you are today… what you are doing today… that’s where we are and what counts the most in this moment.

You lied.

I trusted you and you lied.

Not only did you lie and do the opposite of what you promised – you smiled so gleefully about it. You were so proud of yourself. Guess it had to be you proud of you, because no one else was. Everyone else was let down… ticked off… or delighted you played for their team, rather than ours.

Tonight you did the deed that can’t be undone. You proved you only care about you and the prize you think you have won. But, John, your prize is not a pretty one. It’s a lead-weight sinking you. Yes, as you have destroyed the lives of so many people – your life, too, is destroyed.

I’m sorry, John. Sorry you didn’t feel, listen and respond as the hero you thought yourself to be. Had you – people might smile warmly for years to come when they thought of you or heard your name.

Might have, but not now.

You may not believe me tonight, but you will. Eventually, it will all become clear to you and you will regret these moments that you can no longer undo. It will be your legacy.

Yes, you will be remembered. Sadly so.

Now, you shall be remembered for the misery you made happen when it was up to you to make the choice.

It shall be your cloak of shame to embrace throughout eternity.

You did your dirty deed.

Now you shall live with it as you have made others live with your non-mercy!

I haven’t much more to say about my disappointment in you, except that I am. I am very disappointed in you and it is with cause. Luckily, I shall not be at your side or even in some corner whispering support of you. Instead, I’m out of here.

May the nightmares of truth fill your nights and walk with you each day!

Goodbye, John.

Copyright © 2017 Carrie K. Hutchens

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